Identifying what to unlearn will propel your personal growth journey forward more quickly than anything new you could ever learn! Check out this article for the best way to embrace unlearning!
The Personal Growth Journey Is Counterintuitive!
You will notice a massive transformation in your life if you commit to unlearning as often as you absorb new information!
As a personal growth and development enthusiast, you probably constantly search for the best way to blossom into the next best version of yourself!
Making it easy to find yourself caught in the trap of thinking you always need to learn more!
But the truth is that the first step in profound, long-lasting transformation is identifying what you need to unlearn and doing it with humility!
Follow along and discover what unlearning is, how to do it to facilitate personal growth, and hear about my own experience with unlearning at the end!
What is Unlearning?
Keep up with me here!
Because this may come as a surprise.
You may have to unlearn what you know about unlearning.
Unlearning does NOT mean completely forgetting what you currently know or believe.
You don’t have to completely discard beliefs, habits, and mindsets that are ingrained within you.
But what you do have to do is challenge them!
Unlearning is about reducing the impact and influence your current mindset or belief has on how you are or the way you act.
It’s simply saying, “Hey, I currently think, or act this way, under these circumstances.”
Then it’s asking yourself, “Now That I’m objectively looking at this behavior, what would life be like if that is not all there is?”
“If I chose to think this other way, would it better serve me and my growth?”
And then moving forward and trying to put some of those shifts into action and observing the outcome.
How Do You Unlearn For Personal Growth?
Unlearning on your personal growth journey so that you can upgrade your life requires you to embody what I’m deciding to name Kayla Sharee’s Rule of 3-3-3.
First, to successfully unlearn, there are three character traits you need to possess or develop.
Those are:
- Humility
- Bravery
- Curiosity
Most people believe they are masters of these traits until they have to utilize them in the unlearning process.
You can tell which character traits you need to work on if you are experiencing resistance anytime throughout the process.
Next, the are three requirements that you must meet to be successful!
Unlearning on your personal growth journey requires you to:
- Be willing to admit you do not know it all.
- Openly question the foundation of what you do know.
- Align with the knowledge that best serves your personal and spiritual growth.
And finally, for each concept, action, or mindset you find yourself needing to unlearn, there are three phases before you achieve unlearning success.
- Destabilization
- Evaluation
- Experimentation
Do you think you have what it takes to learn to unlearn?
If so, follow along for an explanation on how to put my Rule of 3-3-3 to use!
Read More: 3 Harsh Truths All Empaths Need To Learn For A Better Quality of Life!
The 3 Requirements for Unlearning for Personal Growth
I have discovered that these three requirements are unavoidable when unlearning on my personal and spiritual growth journey.
They have pushed me toward healing I never knew I needed.
Take a minute to think.
How do you feel about these requirements?
Does any mental or emotional resistance pop up?
Requirement #1: Admit That You Do Not Know It All
The first essential step in unlearning is being willing to admit you don’t know as much as you think!
Unlearning requires a massive amount of humility!
Not many people like to admit that they were “wrong” or that they “don’t know”.
It’s uncomfortable because, deep down, most of us believe being wrong or not knowing is bad.
Because both represent having a fear of the unknown.
And the human brain likes to make sense of everything.
The brain has something called associative memory.
This means that when we learn new information our brains automatically link it with facts we already know.
This process is helpful when learning because it helps us understand ideas faster or create fond memories.
But, it is also why we should embrace unlearning for the rest of our lives.
Because when your associative memory creates a bridge between two ideas, it typically leaves gaps.
Or it can create misinformation and misunderstanding.
This requirement is humility in action.
So that you can not only identify the gaps in your knowledge but actually admit that they are there in the first place.
Requirement #2: Openly Question The Foundation of What You Know
You have to challenge your own thoughts, beliefs, and habits.
Specifically, challenge the foundation of where they originate.
To unlearn and transform your life, you have to be willing to ask yourself why you are the way you are.
For example, if you align with a specific political party, ask yourself why?
When did you have the initial thought?
How did it grow over time?
Or maybe you don’t believe you can become rich and famous someday, ask yourself when was the first time you started to believe that.
Unlearning asks you to be brave enough to challenge your foundation.
Bravery is important because this part can be terrifying.
Especially when many thoughts, beliefs, and actions we hold are what we have built our lives around.
For example, if you follow a specific political party it may determine where you live or who your friends are.
Or if you don’t believe you’ll become rich and famous, you may have picked a safer career path.
It will take a truckload of bravery to challenge those foundations, but you are incredibly capable!
Do you know how I know?
Because you’ve already started the process by reading this post!
If you find yourself having trouble with bravery, I recommend the book, Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway.
It will help you put fear as a concept into perspective so that you can conquer it with no problem!
Read More: 5 Unexpected Truths About Letting Go of Fear-Based Thinking!
Requirement #3: Align With The Knowledge That Supports Your Personal Growth.
Curiousity will conquer fear even more than bravery will.
James Stephens
Once you’ve worked through the fear associated with challenging your foundation, it’s time for the fun part!
Be curious, ask questions, and consult the experts.
Even if you are the expert, consult other experts, beginners, and people with actual life experience.
The most exciting part of unlearning is that it allows you to explore new thoughts, try out new routines, and embrace new beliefs.
Try going out and experiencing another point of view without adopting it as your own.
The beauty of life is that it’s always changing and it’s time for you to embody that beauty too!
Once you do, you will see your dream life start to take shape.
Speaking of new routines, download the Free Printable 5-Minute Morning Routine Habit Tracker and get started with a new morning routine!
Read More: 7 Ways To Transform Your Life In 2022!
The 3 Phases of Unlearning For Personal Growth
Most of the information you’ll see online focuses on how companies and large organizations can learn to unlearn.
There has been an emphasis on unlearning since the Covid-19 pandemic shook corporate America to its core.
Employees who have been in corporate America for years were heavily resistant to the changing culture of the workforce.
Truthfully, for no other reason than an unwillingness to unlearn the old way that office culture operated.
Companies suffered not only due to a lack of preparation in the event their employees couldn’t come into the office but also because of a refusal to unlearn a process that was no longer working.
The companies who see continued growth during and after the pandemic are the ones with leadership willing to unlearn the old ways.
I believe that transformation within a system starts within the individual.
It’s a large part of why I created Tending Your Transformation!
I discovered this article comparing how companies were going about unlearning at a large scale.
And I drew some similarities to my experience with unlearning on a personal growth level.
Here’s my take on the 3 phases of unlearning for personal growth.
The Destabilization Phase
The Destabilization Phase is the stage that rocks your foundation!
In corporate America, this is the point where expectations are not meeting reality.
When a global pandemic that was supposed to be over in 2 weeks is now lasting months, and no one knows what to do.
In the spiritual community, most people would call this your tower moment, referring to the Tower card in the Tarot.
It usually triggers an emotion, outburst, or crisis.
All your feelings come up because your old way of thinking or being is causing stress, strife, and pain.
Or when your old routines and habits are not helping you get to where you need to go!
It rocks your world and can be pretty humbling, even when you were looking for it in the first place.
On a personal growth journey, this is usually the phase that happens after some shadow work.
When you find yourself in this phase, I need you to remember that it does not feel good and that is okay.
It’s not supposed to.
But if you put your pride to the side, embrace humility, and work your way to the next phase, I promise it will be worth it.
The Evaluation Phase
After the dust has settled, you realize that the old way isn’t working, it’s hindering you, or you need more efficiency.
Then comes the evaluation phase.
It’s when you need to start asking questions.
You want to get to the root of the mindset, belief, or habit.
Why did your brain create this connection in the first place?
Is it a connection you want to continue to have moving forward?
It helps to identify when you first were exposed to the mindset or habit. Or when you first thought of the belief you have now.
This can take time. The best way to work through this phase is to journal!
Find a way to sort through the thoughts in your head and get them down on paper so they can stop rattling around in there.
Once you start journaling regularly, you will uncover everything you need to know.
In organizational leadership, this is where the company either gets rid of old processes completely or doubles down on them and prays the destabilization moment is only temporary.
When it comes to personal growth, people who double down on the old way of being experience frustration and remain in the same cycle.
So may not want to choose that option. But you also have other options.
I believe the best way to unlearn when it comes to personal growth is to break down the thought, habit, or behavior and discover which part of it needs healing. But always honor the old way because that story is also part of your growth.
The evaluation phase can also be uncomfortable. Especially if you built a part of your personality on a faulty foundation.
But the best part is that it makes room for you to be the phoenix you were meant to be and consciously choose what belief you want to have instead of the one you adopted by default.
So be brave! It will be worth it.
Read More: These 7 Amazing Benefits Will Inspire You To Journal Every Morning!
The Experimentation Phase
In personal growth, this is where you try reprogramming your subconscious, creating a new routine, or playing around with a different belief.
The experimentation phase is where you choose the direction in the life transformation will occur.
It’s when you take a class or talk to an expert to fill in the gaps in your knowledge. Where you put yourself in new situations to learn.
Most of the time the personal growth journey requires the experimentation phase to be lifelong.
Maybe you become a lot more flexible in your thinking and let go of rigidity.
Now it’s time to create the life you always knew you could have!
Conclusion
Unlearning can be so daunting but so fulfilling at the same time.
Once you make it through the three phases of unlearning for personal growth, using my Rule of 3-3-3, you will notice that your life has transformed dramatically.
Most of the time, without any immediate physical changes to your environment!
Just remember, when life begins to throw triggers your way, it’s typically an opportunity for you to unlearn something that may be holding you back!
Are you wondering what you may need to unlearn on your personal and spiritual growth journey?
Subscribe to Kayla Sharee on Youtube and watch my Unlearn to Upgrade Series!
Where I go into detail about what I’m unlearning on my personal growth journey!
Make sure you sign up for email updates for the Latest Tending Your Transformation Blog Posts!
Sources
https://www.emerald.com/insight/content/doi/10.1108/TLO-11-2016-0079/full/html
https://www.verywellmind.com/what-is-associative-memory-5198601
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