How To Achieve a Quiet Ego and Find Balance With Liz in Eat Pray Love

The Movie Eat Pray Love shows how to achieve a Quiet Ego and find the necessary balance between the self and others. Follow along and find out the 4 secrets to a quiet Ego according to the QES, Quiet Ego Scale.

This post may contain affiliate links and I may earn a small commission when you click on the links and purchase at no additional cost to you.

This Movies With a Message episode is for my people who have ever lost themselves, in a person, in a job, in a lifestyle.

For those of you who have ever felt hollow after an ending. Like you gave so much of yourself to someone or a career and now that it’s gone you don’t know how to find yourself again.

I never thought I would watch the movie Eat Pray Love, to be honest. It seemed too long and the storyline seemed too….dry.

And let me tell you…

I was absolutely correct.

But regardless there is a message in it that deserves to be in the spotlight!

Yes, the message in this movie is all about the Ego.

What is the Ego?

Your ego is your “I”. Like in the Statement “I am”.

It’s what you openly identify as in your conscious mind. It’s what you present to people when they ask for words that would describe you.

A lot of people like to attach their career to this “I am”… because …..capitalism. Or they attach who they are relating to another person.

EX: Hi My name is Kayla I am an engineer, content creator, daughter, sister, and dog mom.

However, the problem with our ego identity is that it’s not all of who we are. And typically only consists of the identities others praise us for.

Which makes it the direct opposite of the shadow.

Image of Shadow Hand and Mirror. Quiet Ego Symbolism

The Problem With Living With Too Much Ego

Living too much in your Ego can lead you to live your life like Liz in the 2010 movie Eat Pray Love.

Where you struggle to find the balance between yourself and others.
In relationships that don’t satisfy you.
Chasing physical things hoping they will solve your problems.
Not being able to enjoy the moment.
Being too self-centered or too self-sacrificing.

To counteract this and live a life that is more in alignment with your authentic self, all you have to do is learn to quiet your ego.

Disclaimer: This is not the same as silencing the ego. There isn’t much benefit in a silent ego. There’s no need to get rid of it. Think of it like turning the volume down on your inner voice.

Eat Pray Love and Achieving a Quiet Ego

According to a study called the Quiet Ego Scale, there are four elements of achieving a Quiet Ego.

In the movie Eat Pray Love, the main character, Liz, experiences them all after she leaves behind her whole life to travel after a messy divorce and short-lived rebound relationship.

Liz’s life was on the brink of change the first time she met the Indonesian medicine man, Ketut, who predicted that she would have two marriages, one short and one long, lose all her money, and then return to Bali and teach him English.

She initially shrugs him off, but after a few months she begins to feel that he might be right about her current marriage.

Liz becomes frustrated with her husband’s lack of direction career-wise. Every new person he meets inspires him to try a new path.

But what Liz doesn’t realize is that her relationship is holding up a mirror.

In every day life, some people we meet either mirror what’s in our darkness or they mirror our light.
Her husband Stephen mirrors her darkness because she also lacks direction, she just doesn’t realize it.

Liz loses herself in her relationships and molds herself into who they need her to be.

Which she realizes after her rebound with David.

Liz has no balance between herself and the other. In relationships, she’s too self-sacrificing, and in her perspective she’s too self-centered.

She could definitely benefit from a quiet ego.

Liz Practices Detached Awareness in Rome

Liz leaves behind her messy divorce and most recent ex-boyfriend to travel the world, hoping to find her excitement for life again.

She realizes that this journey is not about romantic love when her rent lady tells her she’s not allowed to have men stay the night.

Forcing her to spend her nights alone.

However, Liz still lives it up in Rome. She connects with people in a non-romantic way who know how to enjoy the pleasures of life.

In Rome, she doesn’t just eat but savors the food in front of her.

She learns a language, appreciates the syllables of the words, and buys a lingerie set because it makes her feel good.

Liz practices living with detached awareness in each of these experiences.

via GIPHY

Detached Awareness Heals Her “Now”; Living With A Quiet Ego.

The first element of the Quiet Ego Scale is how often you practice detached awareness.

It means you observe actions in the current moment without passing judgment.

Practicing detached awareness helps Liz to see her current relationship with David without judgment.
She notices how it’s serving her and how it’s not, and then makes a decision.

Finding a balance between the self and the other becomes super important!

Detachment without concern for the self will leave you like David.

But at the same time, have enough concern and love for the self to choose what’s best.

And not staying out of fear that there’s nothing else.

But at the same time, have enough concern and love for the self to choose what’s best. And not staying out of fear that there’s nothing else.

Liz masters detached awareness at the end of her time in Rome.

When someone judges her choices, she stays detached and doesn’t take it personally. She detaches from the opinion of others because she knows she’s doing what’s best for herself.

She allows people to be who they are while she remains who she is.

India Teaches Liz Perspective Taking

After Rome, Liz travels to India and dives right into selfless devotional work.

She meets a young woman named Pulsi, who is arranged to be married at seventeen and is absolutely dreading it! Pulsi even says she’d rather spend time with God than boys her age.

Pulsi acts as a contrast to Liz, who has never not been in a relationship.

She’s amazed that Liz had the strength to leave her marriage and tells her that she looks happy and free.

Liz also meets Richard from Texas while in India, an assertive man who takes an interest in her because he feels they are kindred spirits.

Richard offers Liz the perspective of being left behind in the relationship, even though his actions led to his divorce.

India Heals Her Past. Reflecting With A Quiet Ego.

Traveling to India allows Liz the opportunity to practice perspective-taking.

Perspective-taking is another element of achieving a quiet ego because you bring attention outside the “self” when you reflect on other viewpoints.

You find a balance between the self and others because it increases your empathy and compassion for those around you.

Pulsi has the complete opposite emotional experience when it comes to her marriage.

Richard from Texas actively destroyed his marriage and relationship with his son.

In Eat Pray Love, Liz sees the world through their eyes, and she learns to see the perspective of her ex-husband Stephen.

Throughout their divorce, Liz struggled to acknowledge Stephen’s pain. She never considered that he may not have had the same emotional experience as she did at the end of their marriage.

Liz offered Stephen everything she owned, hoping he would take it and settle the divorce.
In an attempt to fix all her problems through material means.

But Stephen turned it down.

In India, Liz learns to shift perspective, and it helps her release the burden of needing him to forgive her and needing to forgive herself.

In her words, she says that “God dwells within me, as me.”

And if that’s true, then God must also dwell within others.

Liz’s Inclusive Identity Thrives In Bali

After India, Liz arrives in Bali, Indonesia, and feels pretty good.

She finds Ketut and tells him everything he predicted came true.

And he’s like…who are you?

But he does remember her eventually.

So she’s living it up in Bali, hanging with Ketut, and meets a man who hits her with his car.
But through that, Liz meets another medicine woman who heals her after being hit.

At this point, Liz is comfortable being alone.

She’s so comfortable that when she goes out to party with her friend Valentina, she doesn’t even fall into the trap of having a romantic fling with the party guy that plays the drums.

She recognizes the pattern and gracefully chooses what’s best for her.

Even when she starts to catch feelings for Felipe, Liz still isn’t sure if it’s safe to love again without losing herself.

Especially when Wayan tells her that she does the same and that led her to an abusive relationship.

Wayan Mirrors Liz’s light.

She’s aware that she loses herself in the other when she’s in love. And this time around, Liz does everything she can to avoid falling in love again.

But unfortunately for Liz, that’s not what Bali is about.

Bali is about learning her inclusive identity.

Bali Heals Liz’s Future. Making Plans With a Quiet Ego.

Personal growth is the fourth and final element of a quiet ego.
It requires thinking about the long-term impact of the present moment.

Liz embarked on her personal growth journey after observing the present state of her life and deciding it would be in her best interest to choose a different path.

She contemplated the long-term effects of living a life she created but didn’t love.

The effects of staying in relationships while searching for happiness in the other person.

Or living her life going through the motions and not savoring her experiences but looking for the next best thing.