Have you been working to become more conscious of how your thoughts and actions affect your daily experience? Or are you realizing that the only thing holding your back from inner peace is yourself? Well, congrats! You took the first steps toward self-awareness.
You are now officially on what is called a healing journey.
A lifelong journey to turn self-awareness into self-acceptance.
It’s a huge step in transforming into the person you know you can be!
Your journey is unique to you! But there are a few things that are guaranteed along this path.
They are speed bumps that you’ll eventually have to face no matter how much you try and dodge them!
Lucky for you, I have a few secrets that may help you along the way!
Imagine This…
You are at a carnival and discover a funhouse maze. There is a sign that says you can win a Grand Prize for making it all the way through to the end.
You consider walking past it because you’re not sure what to expect inside. If you choose not to go in, life stays the same, but you don’t get to enjoy ANY of the prizes.
After watching people exit the funhouse seemingly fulfilled, you begin to envy them.
At some point, you decide that feeling of fulfillment is worth whatever could be in that funhouse!
You take a few steps in and the door slams shut behind you!
There are no emergency exits. The only way out is through.
The first hallway splits into two directions, one on the left and one on the right.
You take the one on the right and enter a room with beautiful flowers and other greenery.
You receive a beautiful bouquet of roses as your first prize and then move on to the next room. While face to face with another choice of hallways, this time you choose the hallway on the left.
A room filled with wobbly funhouse mirrors greets you, and you stop in the center of the room to observe yourself. Every angle is a different reflection of you and they aren’t very flattering.
What you see makes you extremely uncomfortable, so you rush out of the mirrored room, forgetting about the prize, and arrive back in the hallway.
This time you choose to take the hallway on the right, hoping it’s better than the last one. This room is decorated fashionably, with modern furniture and warm lighting.
Immediately you relax and take a seat on the couch because the space feels familiar and inviting.
You close your eyes and hear a “click” and suddenly you’re plunged into darkness.
Terrified, you bolt towards the exit, rush through the hallways and realize that you are once again standing in the room full of funhouse mirrors.
In this example, choosing to go inside the “funhouse” represents your choice to live life consciously aware of your choices.
Once you reach the level of self-awareness that allows you to see that the world directly responds to how you approach it, that’s when the doors slam shut.
Because once you begin this journey there is no turning back!
It’s not an easy path, so here are a few secrets that will help you through the maze of self-awareness.
Secret #1: Your Self-Awareness Journey Is Not a Straight Path
This journey is not linear! Being self-aware does not mean you will automatically make all the right decisions.
The secret is that you may have to revisit things you thought you had already healed!
When you decide to walk into the funhouse, there are no maps, no GPS, nothing! You never know where each moment or choice takes you or what you’re going to discover about yourself along the way.
But that’s the fun part! If you choose to see it that way.
Your journey to self-awareness becomes multiple opportunities to re-learn yourself!
The part that propels you forward is when the doors “close”.
When you’re finally aware of the patterns that hold you back, there are not many options. You either choose to heal, or you choose to live in the cycles that are keeping you trapped.
You either choose to heal, or you choose to live in the cycles that are keeping you trapped.
Kayla Sharee, Tending Your Transformation
And just like the rooms in the funhouse, some moments will be beautiful, some will be uncomfortable, and some will be downright scary!
It would frustrate me so much when I felt my old wounds being triggered! It felt like I had done all this internal work, but what was the point of it?
Self-awareness felt like a trap.
I would get triggered, react, and then spiral into negative self-talk because “I should’ve known better”.
The cycles finally stopped when I leaned more into self-acceptance. This taught me to take it easy on myself and remember that healing is a process that can’t be rushed.
No matter how vigilant you are, you’re not going to catch everything that triggers you.
It’s necessary to relive certain milestones, but each time you will make it out a little stronger.
Allow yourself the grace, and patience you would give to others.
Secret #2: Your Shadow-Side Makes You Whole
Yes, your shadow! Your dark side, the side of you that you’d prefer no one else sees.
The side that can be so hidden YOU may even run from it. Everyone has one. But are you prepared to open that door and let it in? Are you ready to honestly see it for what it is?
Because when it comes down to it, you can’t move forward without it.
Your shadow was built as a by-product of your “bad” experiences and old wounds. These can be experiences that hurt you, threatened your safety/security, or made you feel small or less-than.
It forms from the idea that you need to be protected and becomes bigger and bigger from each experience that validates it.
The room full of funhouse mirrors is an unavoidable stop along the way. Your shadow has distorted the way you see yourself, the way you see others, and the way you approach life altogether!
The key is to spend time in the room full of mirrors. To take a deep look at yourself from every angle. While it is distorted and sometimes unflattering, it is still YOU.
So invite your shadow in. Take a good look and have a conversation. What is it really about? What is it rooted in and how did it grow?
In my case, when I was first getting to know my shadow, I discovered that I had issues with control. I needed to control every aspect of my life, and when I couldn’t, panic and anxiety would set in.
Read More: How To Start Healing Your Anxiety In 4 Essential Steps!
So having control over the people, things, and experiences in my life became a way for me to feel safe.
After exploring this, I realized this deep-seated fear more than likely took root in childhood, growing up with a parent who had unpredictable emotions.
And was reinforced when I experienced relationships with similar dynamics.
At the time, my shadow kept me safe in those situations.
But now that I actively seek out healthier experiences, that side of me was hurting me more than anything.
It began to hold back the progress of my healthy relationships until I addressed the root of the problem!
Don’t run from your shadow! Make peace with it so the REAL healing can begin!
Secret #3: You Don’t Need to Have All of The Answers
Somewhere down the line, you’ll discover that “This is just the way it has to be” is all the answer you will ever get. And need for that matter.
This is where you learn that self-awareness and self-acceptance go hand in hand.
We learn how to become aware of our patterns and what we can change in this life. Then, we reach a point where we have to look to accept rather than to change.
Learn to accept the imperfections in your life that aren’t holding you back from being your true self.
While many people say, “All the answers are within you,” and I believe that is 100% true, most answers aren’t able to be understood by our conscious selves.
For example, you might not get that job offer from the company you wanted because there was a better one on the way. Consciously you can understand why that door was closed.
Now maybe someone you consider an important part of your life leaves without warning.
You’re devastated and can’t seem to figure out why this door closed. Once the clouds of disappointment and grief clear, you move on and simply just live life without them.
What you may not be consciously aware of is that with them not around, your energy shifts.
You’re more confident, powerful, and exciting without them. While consciously you’re still not sure why they had to go, your body and your soul know why.
So if you’re running through your funhouse and you come across a closed door, or a hallway with a “DO NOT ENTER” sign plastered on the front, try not to panic!
Just start looking for the next hallway.
Eventually you will make it out!
You’ll be able to reap the rewards that true self-awareness and self-acceptance can give you!
Healthier relationships, a hearty sense of self, excitement for life and love, and a clear mind to create the life of your dreams!
You can release your fears and get in touch with the inner voice you’ve been neglecting for so long!
And you will be so happy you did!
[…] know! It was scary, but it was the best decision I’ve ever made. Becoming more self-aware helped me so much! But there were things I wished I would have known in the beginning. So I had to […]